the scriptorium

Sunday, January 02, 2005

I usually (not always, but usually) try to take a little time before writing here, to think about the implications of what I'm about to say and how they will affect the people who read this. Because of this, I haven't written a lot of things that I wanted to, things that maybe I should have written, who knows? Anyway, I've always felt that discretion was the better part of valor, and all that. That I should spare other people's feelings whenever possible. Sometimes I wonder if my relationships would be better if I changed that policy. The old movie said, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." I think a better adage would maybe read, "Love means being able to be angry with each other, or offended at an action, without having to worry that the momentary emotion will end the relationship." Sure, that's not as neat a package as the one in the movie, and takes longer to say, but I think it's closer to the truth of the matter. My longest-lived friendship is one of over 25 years, and I'm not sure I'm at the point in that one where I could have a serious disagreement with the person and be confident that it wouldn't end the friendship. Maybe that says more about me than anyone else. One of the things we talk about occasionally at church is the fact that community has the potential to be a painful thing, and that in community you should be ready to be confronted with messy old emotions. That's what community is about, being iron to sharpen someone else's iron, or being able to have your own iron sharpened without running away to where there are no sparks flying. Guess what I'm finding out? You just can't have that kind of relationship with someone without a lot of time being invested. Trust grows slowly, like an oak (flashbacks to my infamous "oak vs. orchid" sermon from bible school). How slowly does it grow? I'm still figuring that out, but this I do know: no matter how painful it may be at times, I have to stick around and see the oak grow. I'm not fond of the pain of taking a relationship to a deeper level. I see that there is pain on both sides of the equation. I can't help but think that the pain is gonna be worth it in the end, when we all come closer to the image of Christ. (I started to end by saying, "come quickly, Lord", but I'm not sure but that that would defeat the purpose...)

posted by #Debi at 10:03 AM | permalink | 0 comments